Raise Up

How Corliss Got A Raise Without Asking

April 29, 2020 Amanda LeFever Episode 6
Raise Up
How Corliss Got A Raise Without Asking
Chapters
23:04
THE Raise Story
Raise Up
How Corliss Got A Raise Without Asking
Apr 29, 2020 Episode 6
Amanda LeFever

Corliss shares insight and expertise from her 20 years of HR experience and lays out a solid foundation for getting a raise at work. She believes, if you want a raise, at the most basic level we have to provide evidence of our value and gives numerous examples of how we can maximize our earning potential. She also hits us with facts, like how we can't change our IQ but we can definitely change our EQ and that one skill coupled with the right mindset can move us up the pay scale more than anything else.

Get the show notes and more great resources from this episode at the Raise Up Podcast website

Thank you to our Special Guest: Corliss McGinty, President, and HR Momma at Soft Solutions Consulting

You don't want to miss it. Listen now!


RAISE UP SHOWNOTES:

https://www.raiseuppodcast.com/6


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Beauty Counter Consultant

Kati Jo Barber

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Corliss shares insight and expertise from her 20 years of HR experience and lays out a solid foundation for getting a raise at work. She believes, if you want a raise, at the most basic level we have to provide evidence of our value and gives numerous examples of how we can maximize our earning potential. She also hits us with facts, like how we can't change our IQ but we can definitely change our EQ and that one skill coupled with the right mindset can move us up the pay scale more than anything else.

Get the show notes and more great resources from this episode at the Raise Up Podcast website

Thank you to our Special Guest: Corliss McGinty, President, and HR Momma at Soft Solutions Consulting

You don't want to miss it. Listen now!


RAISE UP SHOWNOTES:

https://www.raiseuppodcast.com/6


Love the show? These sponsors make it possible!

Beauty Counter Consultant

Kati Jo Barber

https://www.beautycounter.com/katibarber



Corliss:   0:00
You need to tell yourself you deserve this, and you need to have evidence of the value that you bring. I did not talk to anybody, but one day, I got a little tap on my shoulder and my boss wanted to talk in a private room. He said, "Well the Board of Directors has decided to give you $100,000 and a 20% bonus, and I said, "Well, thank you." I mean - I was making $80,000 before that, so that's a jump! And I always get my bonus, so that's a 50% jump for me. 

Amanda:   0:37
Well, hey everyone, welcome back to the Raise Up podcast. I'm so grateful to be back with you, and I swear I can't stop thanking you. I don't know if you're bored of hearing me say it, but I'm going to thank you again because I'm so grateful to each and every one of you that downloads the podcast, that streams the podcast, whatever you do with the podcast. I love that right now, you are cooking, you're driving, you're working out, you're walking your dog. All those places - you're finding a way to listen and a way to invest in yourself. I am so excited to introduce you to my guest, Corliss McGinty. She has 20 years of HR experience in recruiting, benefits and compensation, training and development, payroll assessments, and all that HR generalist stuff. But she says she loves it and she loves what she's doing now, which is consulting with clients around talent management, strategies, executive and life coaching, culture building, leadership development, and training managers to be awesome leaders. The one thing all her clients have in common is that they "get it" about valuing people and maximizing their peoples investment. So, Corliss, thank you so much. Welcome to the show. 

Corliss:   1:50
Thank you so much. I'm glad to be here.

Amanda:   1:53
I'm really excited that you're here. I know whenever we had first met, I was just enthralled with your energy, and you're so cool too - a wealth of knowledge with great stories. So, I know that the audience is just going to love hearing from you. I saw on your website that you described yourself, head for business, the heart for people. Can you tell me a little bit more about that?

Corliss:   2:21
Yeah. I think it's important for every leader to have this combination, it's great for people to be really good in business, but the heart of your business is your people. And you know, when the people are treated right and fairly, then the business part is going to take care of itself too, so we need to have that balance. 

Amanda:   2:41
Absolutely, so I know you've done a lot of talent development and performance.  Is that usually where you're working, with middle management, or where do you usually consult?

Corliss:   3:57
Sometimes it's VP's of the companies, and we go to another country to have a little retreat. Most of the time it's middle managers to upper management. And you know one thing I've discovered about myself, about 15 years ago, when I decided to get certified as a life coach. I love transformation, I love it when you know where somebody is. It's important to know where you are, really, and then help them get to where they want to go. Because there's nothing more satisfying than helping somebody get what they want. So, I'm living my dream right now. I mean, I'm just so lucky that I get to work with professional people that want to grow, because that's my niche. I'm a reading maniac in that field. I can't get enough. I'll talk about books all the time too because they're a wealth of knowledge.

Amanda:   3:57
What are you currently reading right now?

Corliss:   3:57
Well, right now I'm reading a fiction book. During this Covid-19 scenario we have here, I'm not a big one to watch TV all day. And luckily, I have a yard where I can garden, and I have a dog where I walk my dog and see my neighbors. But I found in this homebound thing that we've got going, it is hard for extroverts. I mean, we need people. So that's where I am now, just staying inside, but staying safe.

Amanda:   4:33
That's good. That's good. Speaking of COVID, it's kind of a rough time to be talking about getting a raise right now. What would you tell your nephew or niece if they say, "Hey, I have a performance review in a few months - what should I do if I really want to try and get a raise?"

Corliss:   4:52
Oh, I would say this is the perfect time to do that. This is the perfect time to see where are you now? What are the perceptions that other people have of you?  For instance, it would be a great time to do a 360 feedback multi-rater assessment just to get a lot of information.  And then you got the time now to think about, well, what value do I really bring to an organization and think about the past year? What are some of your accomplishments and that sort of thing? Because bottom line, raises are based on the value you add to a company,  and it's your responsibility to make sure people know that value because I think sometimes we think, well our boss should know, he knows what I do every day. No, I mean they're busy, they don't know, and some of us, especially women, who have been taught to not toot our own horn, you know, don't brag about what you've done, but certainly there are ways of letting people know your accomplishments without bragging. I was thinking about that last night. One of my dreams was going to my boss and talking about how I would approach getting a raise myself, without bragging.  You can talk about a project you just finished, and just so you know, this is what I learned from that, and this is what we got done, and we made our numbers. I'm so happy. That's it. Not that I'm the best, or, you know, you could brag about your team if you do have a team that you manage, but just to let him know what you've learned, and you've accomplished that. There's nothing brag about it, it's just that.

Amanda:   6:40
I like that. I've never heard that before. So, you're kind of keeping a general tally almost. But you're using, like, inadvertent language a little bit whenever you're talking about it.

Corliss:   6:55
Well, I'm kind of different anyway. 

Amanda:   6:59
No, I like that. It's definitely a different approach. Is that kind of how you coach people? To let their managers and their bosses know of the value that they're bringing to the company. 

Corliss:   7:11
Oh yeah! And how to do it, especially if you're an introvert, and maybe shy about it. You know, I try to focus on the soft skills and communication and things like, emotional intelligence and conflict. And, you know, one of the things you have to realize that some things are coming into the workplace that weren't there before, that you might have, like empathy. You know, we talk about,  how you build trust and that sort of thing, and it's besides being dependable, people need to know that they have emotional safety around you, that you're on their side. They can say what they need to say, and the whole company needs to know that speaking up about things is not a bad thing. I know in real life, if somebody speaks up, they get fired. But that's not in all corporate worlds. That's definitely in the government right now. So, being empathetic is a trait that many, many women have, and a lot of times they're the ones that are asking for the raises just to be equitable at work. It's only fair.

Amanda:   8:19
Yes, that's true. How do you think that people can build that trust at work? You said emotional safety. Is that a culture thing, or do you think that there are other ways that they can build that trust if they're feeling undervalued or underpaid?

Corliss:   8:39
Well, the trust thing, I mean, that was a Google thing that they did. They did a survey of you know, what makes really good teams here. And it was that emotional safety thing, where people can speak up. One of the courses I love to do is called a crucial conversation. And you know one thing I realized a long time ago when I read that book, like 10 years ago, and immediately got certified in it so I could teach it to other people because I realized myself, I am reluctant to have conflict with anybody because nobody taught me how. You know the messages I got were if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, or children should be seen but not heard. So nobody taught us how to speak up, and if you know the methodology and what you need to think about before you have a conversation, during the conversation, what if somebody gets defensive then what do you do? These are skills that can be learned. Then you can speak up and maybe say what other people in the room aren't saying too. I mean, that builds trust and that makes people know that you've got courage. You know it all kind of goes together, but speaking up is very important. And I think in trust, being dependable. If you say you're going to do something, then do it. If you're going to miss a deadline for any reason, it's important to tell the person who's in charge of that project. This is why it's going to be late, because people make assumptions. You know, they might think it's your leadership and it may not be that at all. We're so inter-related with other departments, it might be you're not getting the information you need to do the project. So just being dependable. And if you're on the team, people need to know you've got their back, that you're going to be there for them. Sometimes being there for somebody is telling them things that they may not know about themselves. Because I saw this little grid one time, and I like those 6 box grids. You've got the top two, or this is a four-box one. "You know what you know, and you know what you don't know." Then on the 2nd one, "you don't know what you know" and that sometimes when we do stuff like, wow, I didn't know I could do that. But then there is "you don't know what you don't know", and that's valuable information. I mean, that's what's so good about a 360 feedback, it's very interesting to see people's perceptions of you because you think you're a certain way and sometimes it doesn't come across that way. So, you know, you don't know what you don't know. So, if you're trustworthy and give people some constructive feedback and they know you've got their back, that just strengthens that trust bond, it really helps.

Amanda:   11:50
So, you said that you tell them things that they don't know about themselves. So, is that just in the 360 feedback? Or is that something that people are doing, or learned, to navigate those types of conversations in the workplace?

Corliss:   12:05
Oh, they need to learn how to do it. I mean, the thing about a 360 feedback is it's anonymous. Except if you have a category called boss or manager. You'll know it's from that person, and people like it that way so nothing can be pointing to them, and they feel like they can speak the truth. But people also need to learn how to do that face to face, and it's tough at first, it's really tough, because you've got to control your emotions. And if you're like me, I get in a situation and it's like fight or flight. I want to get out of here. I don't want to have this conversation, but that's called an amygdala hijacking, where all of a sudden your emotions have taken hold of you and you're just scared and you just don't want to do anything, you want to contract or get out. But you learn how to get over it, you keep focusing on what do you really want. And you start with your heart, and you start with the facts instead of what you think about the facts, and that will reduce some defensiveness in other people. So, it's just another people skill, a soft skill, that people are finally realizing that soft skills are as important as a hard skill.  And I would beg to say, that people who leave jobs or get fired, a lot of that's because of how they do stuff, not the things they know. And you know, the technical things, that sort of thing. But it's kind of how they do the work. You know you have to fit into the culture.

Amanda:   13:46
Right. Do you see the same thing for people that are moving up, or getting raises? It's more in how they do the work, or do you think it's how they carry themselves?

Corliss:   13:56
Yeah, now you know, I'm not trying to be just talking about women here, but I read a great book that's about how women rise. It's one of Marshall Goldsmith's books, he did it with Sally Helgeson, and they talk about 12 habits that might be holding you back from your next raise, promotion, or job. And I went, I love that book, because they talk about things that women do naturally. Like I just said, empathy was important. Well, sometimes it's seen as you're being too soft or women like to collaborate with people, so sometimes in a meeting, they'll ask people, "What do you think? What do you think?" And it can be perceived as you don't know what your answer is. You're asking other people for it, and that's not it at all. It's just you want to include people. Maybe you know the truth, that when people are included in a decision, they're more likely to buy into it. Whether it was their suggestion or not. It's just how people are so they're a ton of things. You know, we say I'm sorry a lot, and we've got to take hold of how we come off to people and also notice what kind of things people move up in the company for, your company because I guess all companies are kind of different in some it's just the hard work. But in others, they really value how you can pull a team together and get the extraordinary done. So that's one book that opened my eyes. And I thought everybody looking to move up needs to read that book. Even if you're a man.

Amanda:   15:41
You said that was How Women Rise, right? 

Corliss:   15:43
Yeah, How Women Rise by Marshall Goldsmith, my favorite coach. I got to coach with him 15 years ago. Oh, he's great. And then, Sally, I know I've been lucky - Sally Helgesen - great book.

Amanda:   16:05
We'll have to check that out. I've never read that.

Corliss:   16:07
And this is the perfect time, when you're not so busy that you can do some assessment of yourself. You can even do an informal  360 of people, maybe even past bosses, or people who really know you well, they may not work with you or maybe some peers or whatever but you can do an informal one to say I trust your opinion, I value it, would you give me some feedback?

Amanda:   16:36
What kind of things are you looking for in a self-assessment?

Corliss:   16:40
Well, like your communication, because we all think we're doing a great job of it, but we're not. Sometimes people have to fill in the blanks. You know, it's very sporadic, or sometimes we don't keep people in the loop. And you know, people will know something, and you should know it too but you don't, that really hurts feelings. You know, there are a lot of things going on that you need to be cognizant of, and just be aware of.

Amanda:   17:10
Is that some of the things that a lot of people, let me try that one more time. A lot of people will say that the self-assessment is first. If you're feeling undervalued and looking to move up, more or less, or get a pay raise, do you feel like that is the first thing that you should do? Or do you think that you need the feedback before you actually self-assess?

Corliss:   17:33
Well, for me, I'd rather have the feedback. I tend to focus on what's bad about me, but it's getting less and less as the years go by. But it's because I know some things that are bad about me, like, you might think, I'm a great communicator. But there might be some behaviors that you do that don't say that. For instance, somebody comes into your office and they want to ask you a question, and you're like, "Yeah, come on in." You're doing email and they're talking and you're not even looking up at them, you're not looking them in the eyes. You're typing emails, Uh-huh.  And you might be like some husband and wives at the breakfast table like you're not listening to me, yes, I can repeat every word you said," and maybe they can. But the perception from you is they're not listening to me because I'm used to people looking me in the eye when I'm talking to them and somehow acknowledging what I'm saying, nodding or something. But we all do that. We all have things that we're just not aware of how we come off, or just little areas we need to improve. And I also want to stress it is not just about looking for weaknesses that you have. I'm a big believer in Strength Finder, where you find out what your strengths are and you leverage them because I know from being an entrepreneur, started my business, this last business,  12 years ago, and I'm not good at everything. I know that. So, you hire somebody who is good at it. It's interesting when Gallup did that Strength Finder and they looked at everything, they noticed that people working on their strengths, figuring out how can they leverage, how can they use more. They're happier at work, they're more engaged at work, they're more likely to stay, and they're a lot more productive. So, any effort they put into that strength, like, I hope people listening, and I'm guessing they are because they're listening to something they could learn from. I hope you're looking to learn all the time and to make it really count, put it into something you're already good at. You know, they have done research on people who were slow readers or fast readers, and then they get them a speed reading course and guess who did better? The people who didn't read very much, you know, not very good, they did improve, but the people who read good, to begin with, and they had a speed-reading course, it was like 400% better.  Unbelievable when you focused on your strength and but our companies and society tell us we need to improve, we need to look at our weaknesses and be stronger, we need to be well rounded. But do we? I mean, what if we have strengths, and what if our strengths can carry us through our career and they can. They can, but focus - and that's something nobody's thought of,  we think about focusing on stuff you don't know, or you need to improve in rather than learning more about something that you love. It's interesting.

Amanda:   20:55
It is interesting. I never really thought about it that way, but I can see how it would definitely add more value to that person and also to the company as well, because they're like you had said more engaged, more passionate, more excited. What if you're not super excited about what you're doing? You don't feel like it's in your strength zone.

Corliss:   21:19
Ah, that's my expertise.

Amanda:   21:23
It is? Excellent!

Corliss:   21:24
Well, I'm crazy about people doing stuff that they love. And we talk to ourselves all the time and we can talk ourselves into staying at a job that sucks the soul out of us. But it's like, I've got a mortgage to pay, I've got kids going to college. We can talk ourselves into doing amazing things. But how can you be miserable for the majority of your life? You think about how much time is spent at work. I mean, even driving there, even when you get home, sometimes you're checking email,  a lot. A lot of your life spent with work. So, you know, you got to think about is this how I want to spend my life because the days are ticking away. And if you're not doing something you love, you may never get to do it. So, there's another book I want to mention that I just finished because I'm so interested in that subject, "Come Back Careers," by Mika Brzezinski wrote it. And it's about women going back in the workforce after a time out or taking the lateral move or whatever, it's figuring out what you want and being willing to go get it. And I like their strategies. There is a lot of good advice about networking and assessing your values because they really reinforce its value that gets you raises. But, one time, can I tell you a raise story I have?

Amanda:   23:08
Yes, please!

Corliss:   23:09
Well, when you told me this was going to be about people getting raises, I'm like she'll never believe this. But it's the truth, it's the truth. When I was in Austin, Texas, I decided I wanted to be certified as a life coach. I had a master coach I was working with, and he said one time, Well, you know, what do you want? Because really, a lot of times I don't like to think about what I want. I want to help other people, but I was like, um I don't know, I want six figures. This was like, 20 years ago, and that was a big deal. I want six figures and he was like, OK. So, that's all I did, was I wrote it down and then I thought about it a little bit. How did it make me feel to get that raise? And because I was the HR director, I knew the salaries of other directors, and I knew a wasn't in line, so I knew I deserved it. And, how can I say this once again, it's how you talk to yourself and you need to tell yourself you deserve this and you need to have evidence on the value that you bring. And I did not talk to anybody. But one day I got a little tap on my shoulder and my boss wanted to talk in a private room. He said, well the Board of Directors has decided to give you $100,000 and a 20% bonus.  And I went, well, thank you! I mean, that I was making $80,000  before that. So, that's a jump, and I always get my bonus. So, that's a 50% jump for me and I'm like, this is strange because I didn't do anything. But I did have it as a goal. I did write it down. I did think about how I am going to feel when I have that and then I just let it go. I do that with a lot of my goals at the beginning of the year. I write them on a piece of paper, these are my imperatives I want to do, and here's my strategy to get there and I put it away. It's not that I have a sharp memory because I don't. I think there's something to visualizing things and then having them come true. So, that's my weird story.

Amanda:   25:25
But you continued to show up well, right?

Corliss:   25:27
Oh, well, yeah. I mean, when I got that, like I'm going to make sure it's worth their dollars. And, you know, I was a good worker trying to make big changes in companies, and that's one reason I started my own business. That company in Austin, Texas, was so great, very transparent. Everybody is working hard if it's through the night, whatever it takes to serve our customers. And we had things we did outside of work. And we had things inside work like prom, ping pong tournament. As an HR person, I had massage and chiropractor and laundry service, and all that stuff.

Amanda:   26:11
Oh, my gosh! That sounds amazing. 

Corliss:   26:13
Well, it doesn't cost you anything. You just set it up and provide space. So, you know, just thinking about stuff like that. So, I really think the mindset is a component a lot of people don't think about. And you need to think about that. You need to be positive. You need to say I deserve this, and this is why. And that's why it's important to let other people know what you've done or an obstacle you had to overcome. People can learn from your mistakes too, but that's when you're not bragging. And you're just telling the facts. This is what I learned - oooh I had this obstacle, but we got it done before the schedule and on budget. I'm so happy.

Amanda:   26:58
That all goes back to where you had said to bring in the evidence. The value that you bring. You tell people to kind of keep track, keep a log document of what you're doing.

Corliss:   27:15
I tell you because I've been in HR for several decades. I don't want to say how long, people can do the math and say, "You should be retired." But I'm not! I know managers will think about the last month when it's time for a yearly review, and they have limited memories, they don't remember.  Oh, was that in this period that we're evaluating? Yeah. So, sometimes when I did something good, I got an email that I just stick it in a folder. I have one at home for rainy days or quarantine days when you can pull out your file, and it's all the nice stuff people said about you to cheer you up. But you need to do that. And actually, as an HR mama, I'm not really into the yearly review because that's just not enough. The world's moving too fast. I think there ought to be at least quarterly reviews, and hopefully get to a point that you get feedback in real-time, right as something happens.  I mean, that's what the younger generations want. And I tell you, from my experience, trying to get reviews from managers on time, I think they would like to have another way of doing that because it's a lot of work, after a year.

Amanda:   28:40
Have you seen that some companies are moving to a different model that they're moving to the giving feedback and the radical candor and things like that?

Corliss:   28:50
Oh, yeah, Oh, yeah, And I'm so happy because we have to let go of that, it just doesn't work. People get really nervous about it, both sides, I mean the employer and the manager, and then either you leave, I mean, because I focus on what I'm not good at, when I would leave my review, you know, somebody would say, "you need to take a statistics class," and I'm like, gag me with a spoon. I don't want to do that, I'm not.  Although I did accounting for I mean a long time, I'm not a left-brain person. I'm really right brain and really more creative than that, so you know, I am who I am.

Amanda:   29:35
Yeah, And that's awesome.  So, the performance reviews, do you have any advice for anybody that's kind of, I don't know, hesitant? Maybe my introverts, the people that are not a big fan of those types of conversations with their managers.

Corliss:   29:54
I would try to make it as informal as possible, I would say, go to a coffee shop. And, if you're the manager, don't sandwich stuff. You know what sandwich is, say the good stuff, and then hit them with the hard stuff and then end it with the good stuff. The sandwich people always do it. Yeah, and just say, you know, to be transparent about, we all have stuff that we're working on.  And maybe even share with your employees, this is what I'm working on, because I know I'm not so great at it. And then to partner up and say, Well, what can I do to remove an obstacle for you or help you out to get you resources, what can I do to help you be better? And once again, the trust will come in, this person really cares about me and they're willing to help me out. Sometimes, you might have noticed some people are made manager and they shouldn't be, or they never have been, and they don't know what to do.  More and more people are not giving managers the basic training they need to manage people. You know that a lot of its part of the model, too, because when you think about moving up the ladder, what if you're like a software engineer and you just love coding and you're really good at it? And you've done something for the company that made them a lot of money and made some customers happy, and they're like, let's move him up, let's make him a manager. And you can fail miserably because not everybody wants to be a manager. So, there's got to be away in companies that people can move up without managing people, because some people just don't want to do that. I mean, in my latter years, I don't want to manage people. I just don't, I mean, when I hire people to do stuff, they're independent contractors, and, you know, they come in to do a project, and then they're gone. I don't want to manage people anymore, because I tend to want to fix them.

Amanda:   32:15
You're very helpful. OK, so typically, I'll ask the guests if they have any other best stories. Like war stories of getting a raise. Do you have any other ones that you can think of? You told us that one, and that was really awesome.

Corliss:   32:35
I know. I was just really surprised about that, you know, because it was not what you think. I didn't open my mouth, but I put it out there, You know, the thought was there, and it was written down, and I don't know how they got wind of it, but the board of directors did it on their own.

Amanda:   32:55
No way? Okay, so I misunderstood then you didn't even tell them that you wanted a raise? Oh, my gosh, see, I missed that part somehow.

Corliss:   33:03
I told my coach, I got the raise, and he's like, "Well, congratulations," I'm like, but I didn't even ask for it yet. I was thinking about how can I ask for it, you know? And I was starting to look at what am I contributing to the company? If I weren't here, what would go south fast or, why do people line up at our company to be hired. They can't, they can't wait. I mean, we never had any trouble hiring people. They wanted to work there. And, you know a lot of stuff like that, you think about your value and so I was putting that together in my head. But I'm one of those that always will wait for the right time. You know, sometimes you say things and it's just not the right time to save them. And I find especially, if I'm getting some emotional reaction to something somebody said, it's like just calm down and think about it for a minute and get back.  You know, because you can get hijacked over and over again by your emotions and you need to use your other side of the brain, your cortex, your thinking part of the brain to put some facts together.

Amanda:   34:19
So do you excuse yourself from the situation?  What's your recommendation? If you feel like you're getting emotional or angry or whatever it is, responsive wise.

Corliss:   34:32
Well, if it's a conflict or something, it's fine to say, Let's pick this up later today or, you know, let's cool off a bit and re-circle, that sort of thing. But there are some skills you can do before and after, or during the conversation. One thing before, that when I talk to my career clients,  if you do the wonder woman fun, Have you ever heard of Wonder Woman stance and it having your feet apart like, and you go in the bathroom before your interview and you're like, You can do this, You can.  You know and it's just acting as if you know, you've got all the confidence in the world and you know, you're just rah-rahing for yourself. It really changes your energy. It really helps you to be more competent and confident when you go in and talk to somebody. And then you've got to figure out what if while I'm talking to them, I start getting like anxious, and you have to figure out what works for you to calm yourself down.  And I know for me, its deep belly breathing.  Just slowly get your stomach to move and take in a deep breath and slowly let it out. That will calm me down so much, but it might be something different for somebody else.   

Amanda:   35:56
Some people will, like, tap on the side of their hands, or remove themselves from the situation.  It just depends.

Corliss:   36:03
Some people have a rubber band they snap it on their wrist. Or some people I can, because I love to read body language to, some people who are high D's on the disc scale, which is extrovert, task-oriented, let's get her done. I can see when they're getting impatient about, they might have their leg crossed and all of a sudden, they're wiggling their foot or, if they're standing up, they're jingling change in their pockets. I mean, they're just kind of looking to the side at the clock. You know, you just need to be able to read people to see if you're coming through or if it's time to end right now and pick up later. So, all of these things can be learned. You know, it's not like I've got to change my personality. No, uh-uh

Amanda:   36:57
So, learn those cues, more or less.

Corliss:   37:01
Yeah, it's very important to work on your emotional intelligence because that's one thing you can change. You can't change your IQ, but, you can definitely change your EQ and that affects how you're, basically, emotional intelligence is self-awareness and self-management. That's big, because a lot of people cannot manage themselves and they get angry at people and say stuff they shouldn't or they're not aware at all of how they're coming off. And the other part is the social thing, where you're aware socially of what's going on and you manage your relationships, you know how to do that. So, as you go up the ladder, these kinds of skills are very important. You know, your network, and how you manage people, and how you can read people, and how you can control and self-regulate your emotions so that you don't do something you'll regret or say something you'll regret. So that's one place people could put some dollars into that training and improve.  Or there's a great book out there. 

Amanda:   38:14
Excellent, I'm going to put all of these in the show notes. Yeah, so what's the book?

Corliss:   38:17
It's emotional intelligence, 2.0, and I'm trying to think, Travis Bradberry wrote it, and his company actually does EQ training also, but you get the book and you have a little code and you go on the website and take his assessment and you can retake it in a year. He's got some resources is on his website about, Well, how do I improve my social awareness? How can I do that? And he'll have resources or suggestions, and I suggest people just work on a couple of them.  You know, the most important ones and maybe not even necessarily your lowest ones. But the ones that are most important for you at that point in your life and your career, and work on those because it's always going to help pay dividends when you invest in yourself.

Amanda:   39:17
So, is there anything else that you want to add to our conversation about getting a pay raise?

Corliss:   39:29
Just remember, you deserve it. And remember your mindset. Just remember your mindset when you go in, be confident, and know your worth it, have your facts, and just do it as a matter of factly. You can just say, Hey, I want this, and you might be really surprised that they're like, Oh, well, I agree. I'm like what, do you really? No, you don't want to do that and say, I'm glad you see things my way. 

Amanda:   40:15
Awesome. Well, thank you, Corliss, so much for being on the show. Where can people find you? What's your favorite social media or a place that you hang out that people can connect? 

Corliss:   40:26
Well for friends, it's Facebook. Otherwise, it's LinkedIn, and I've got my company, Soft Solutions Consulting on LinkedIn.  And I was on LinkedIn when it started, a long time ago. So, I've got thousands and thousands of people. 

Amanda:   40:49
That's amazing! You're a LinkedIn OG. 

Corliss:   40:53
I mean, I don't go out and invite people, but if somebody wants to link up with me and they don't look like a terrorist, I'll go OK.  And one time it really helped me because somebody wanted a job and they said, "I see you know Bill down in Baton Rouge and I really want that job down there, can you give him my resume?"  I said, gol, I don't know you and I don't know him, but what the heck? So, I asked Bill, I said, In the spirit of networking, would you take this resume to the hiring manager for this job, and he's like, sure I can do that.  And then she said, I got the job, and I'm like, no way! Yeah. Two strangers. I really in my heart believe people want to help you. So, if you just say in the spirit of networking, I have a person that's dying for that job and we can help her. Would you be willing to do this? And they're like, Yeah, of course. Because there's no big effort. And from an HR perspective, having somebody give you a resume is better than you know, a stack of them off the Internet that you have to go through. It matters to me, relationships matter. Yeah, I know. It's so many weird things going on in my life that I can't say I've been bored ever.

Amanda:   42:15
Well, I'm sure a lot of people want to connect with you. This has been super valuable. So, thank you so much for coming on the show. I really appreciate it. And I'm sure our listeners do too, you had so many gold nuggets in there Corliss, I really appreciate it. 

Corliss:   42:29
Well, that's just because I'm a reading maniac, I just acquire knowledge. So, I'm happy to share that knowledge with anybody and especially if it helps them move forward and make things happen in their life. That thrills me, thrills me.

Amanda:   42:49
All right, we'll let you go. And I just want to say thanks again. I really appreciate it.

Corliss:   42:54
Okay. Thank you for having me. I had a good time. 

Amanda:   42:58
You did? I'm so glad, I had a good time too, that's fantastic. 

Corliss:   43:04
Well, you stay safe, alright Amanda.   

Amanda:   43:08
If you did find some valuable tips in this podcast today, please take a minute to subscribe to the podcast because it will only get better from here. And be sure to share it and tell all of your friends about it on Facebook and Instagram and all your social media sites. I would truly appreciate the social media love. Thanks again for listening, and I can't wait to connect with you again. Bye. For now.

THE Raise Story